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Hi Loves! I am still alive… Sorry for the very belated lapse between posts but I have been recovering from a bout of pneumonia on top of other things and while that would normally be remedied in a jiffy thanks to medicine and rest, due to my CFS it is taking much longer to recover although I am happily not coughing near as much as I was at the beginning. Progress. 🙂
Which brings me to my little “rant” about medical titles and people’s assumptions, however well-intended…
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is one of those lovely classifications doctors will use when they are stumped and don’t know quite how to diagnose their patients… Like a guinea pig, we are tested and tested again for all known maladies from HIV to Mono to TB.
The list is incredulous and as someone who is on MediCAL due to being unemployed for health reasons, etc., it amazes me how doctors will repeat the same tests even though they see it came up as negative just a few months earlier. Do they expect me to mysteriously go from negative to positive or are they just ‘testing’ and ‘guessing’ or ‘practicing’? I would argue that they are doing just that… practicing medicine because they look at me and see a conundrum.
Crazy enough… when I went to see the internal medicine doctor this month re the CFS I was also (unrelated) battling the onset of pneumonia with a bad cough and since I happened to have had a cough before getting CFS in 2014 she honed in on that one detail — a cough and labeled it as a chronic cough, which it most certainly is not. So here we are trying to get more answers and she writes it up as “chronic fatigue & chronic cough”, gives me an inhaler that the pharmacist says is for emergencies only (hmmm… why do I need this inhaler?) and says on my disability forms that I should be all better and back to work in August (2+ months). Ha.
I had to laugh because the alternative was to scream and pull my hair in frustration. Yes, friends have successfully recovered from “CFS” in the past and I know my homeopathic medicine doctor (whom I adore) says I am approx. 60% recovered since 2014 which is a huge step and I am very grateful for that but we are still a long way away from a full recovery and if this other doctor thinks an inhaler is going to help me recover, I really have to laugh.
Ironically, aside from the constant fatigue and daily pain at a 5 or 6 on a good day, the worst symptom has to be my eyesight. Even now I cannot look at the computer as I type because of the blurriness and eye pain. It has severely affected my ability to read/write and if you look closely at my posts you will surely see many spelling errors (apologies but we must blame it on the eyes) so my dissertation continues at an alarmingly slow pace with me going weeks sometimes without being able to get any reading done and celebrate on good days when I can get through 20 pages (!).
Why am I ranting? I don’t know… Feels good and also feels good to fire up my Macbook after letting it sit there on the desk for a couple of weeks untouched. If anyone else has a disease that basically handicaps them I am so sorry… Big hugs as I can guess how frustrating it is for you. But I have to stay strong and have faith/hope that this too shall pass.
Because really, if I let myself go down the rabbit hole of self-pity I will surely become depressed and that is no way to recover. So thank you for letting me rant…
If you too ever feel down in the dumps, check out the number of great quotes and pics on Pinterest that can cheer you up and say just what you’re thinking… Hugs! xx